I was here, as were you. This is the field where I watched you die. -Melissa · Field Where I Died

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Remember When

12/2004 Touchstone

thumbnail Most of you probably associate me with my obsession with actor Tobey Maguire ~ layouts, fanlistings, endless collages and babbling regarding the actor. However, if not for The X-Files, Mulder, Scully and the online XF community, more specifically the XF Fanart community, I probably would not be here writing this now. It was my fascination with the paranormal and the very hot Mulder that drove me to my computer in search of anything XF related.

I happened onto a fanfic archive, something totally unheard of to me, and I began reading and reading and reading. I came across Ami's site The Haven and was one of the first to join a new Yahoo Group she had for XF Fanart; yet another new idea to me. I accidentally came across Corel 6 on my computer and began to dabble with images. I soon made friends with Kris, Tre, Decemberlady, Lessa, Terry, Linzee, Marina, Rose, Mike G and many others. Mike G was such an important part of my learning process, it was him that forced me to use PS5, taught me masking, smart blur, glow and most importantly, to challenge myself and continue to grow and try different things: to refuse to be stagnant. It was all these people that encouraged, inspired and pushed me into making a site to house my very bad art, which leads me to where I am today. Here. Writing about what it has all meant to me.

I had begun watching The X-Files with the Pilot, way back on Friday nights, and was immediately addicted, especially to the relationship between Mulder and Scully. I loved every aspect about them. While I sympathized with Mulder and became whole-heartedly a Mulderist, I was more in tune with Scully; the non-believer, the skeptic, the realist. The first few seasons, I enjoyed their chemistry, but by season 4, I had become a shipper. I felt they were destined for each other... however, after season seven, my mind changed and I once again joined the ranks of the NoRomos. I stopped watching after the season 7 finale and even had a hard time making it through season seven itself.

While I was never fond of the cancer arc, season four remains my favorite with a mix of creepy episodes like Elegy, Leonart Betts, and Unruhe; with humor like Small Potatoes and Mulder-centric episodes like Paper Hearts. My collage, while it is not a favorite episode of mine story-wise, the colors and desperate emotions of the episode captured me... along with Mulder looking mighty fine in his FBI gear. I chose this collage for two reasons: one, because the episode Field Where I Died is a favorite of Decemberlady's and second, because it was my first borderless collage. I had made one borderless prior to this, but this was the first time I had experimented with masking and brushes to such a degree. At the time, I was very pleased with this piece, the colors, text and blending. I look at it now and shudder. While the colors still appeal to me, I cringe at the blending and edges. What was I thinking!?!?

Once I stopped watching XF with any regularity, I changed the title of Touchstone's XF Art to Touchstones Art and my design from XF to Tobey, which is where it has remained for the past 3 years. While I have moved on from doing strictly XF art to other fandoms and subjects, I have never once regretted my time spent with Mulder, Scully and all those in the fandom. It has led to some nice freelance work and supplemental income. While my site will never be an XF site again, XF will forever remain in my heart, along with the friendships forged along with the way.

Thank you, Decemberlady, for giving me the opportunity to take this walk with you all.. and for the friendships I treasure deeply.